There are many times that everything seems to be going against our grain and rubbing us in ways that are not only painful, but almost intolerable. The key word in the sentence above is "almost". Almost is not quite, just a little more, or missed it by inches and that is a good thing in some cases.
Almost was a very good thing for me over the last couple of weeks, because that little bit more gave me room to write this message today and the strength to be stronger than I was yesterday. Everything in our lives happen for a reason, add pieces to the puzzles of our lives and without all of the small glitches we would not be complete.
The first weeks of 2009 were only reflected small pieces of the last year that seemed like a complete disaster for me. I have not written about things that have went on in my personal life, but every message that has been written was influenced by circumstances that required me to look for strength that I had trouble seeing in myself.
I began 2009 by reflecting on 2008. In 2008 I began the year in a management position that no longer exists in 2009. It has been changed to something else and the position was filled by someone other than me who is paid more than I was to do half the work. Even though I rebelled openly, it didn't take away the pain from realizing that 25 cents of every dollar I earned was taken away from me for past education cost. I accepted the pain so I could continue to fight to support my family with less financial strength than we had been fighting with, and used all of the strength that I believed was inside of my being to hold in the tears when my hours were cut in a way that took away the 25 cents that I was using to pay the 25 cents that was taken from me.
Pain, betrayal, loneliness, anger, confusion, and weakness were only a few of the emotions that clouded my thoughts on a daily basis. I believe that there were feelings that do not have words for them that existed inside of mind, and throughout it all I continued to gain strength from the people who inspire me to see that everything happens for a reason and that everything that looks bad is not always as bad as it seems.
I didn't mention the car accidents, emotional struggles, strained personal and business relationships, the coldness, the bitterness...
What I have mentioned are the reasons that we should continue moving forward through the all of our adversities, because we will prevail over each and every one of them if we are meant to and because we are meant to.
We might not feel strong at all times, but it is the moments when we seem to be on our knees that we show the most strength. Even though we are "almost" out of strength, we can say that "almost" wasn't good enough.
"Almost" isn't enough to stop us from surviving day to day, from using strength that we never knew existed, from being the person that we really are, from creating a history that effects us directly and anyone that gains inspiration from our words and actions.
Sometimes "almost" is enough to keep room inside for the power that has been growing within us that continues to create the perfectly imperfect people that we are!
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