Should Parents Be Held Responsible for the Sexual Activity of Their Children?

On Sunday, August 17, 2008 at 9:00 p.m. EST, I will be hosting another roundtable discussion on my Internet talk radio show "FIRM...but fair" with Jeffery A. Faulkerson. The question that I will be posing to my listening audience is, "Should parents be held responsible for the sexual activity of their children?"

I have always heard that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. If this is the case, then we parents play a significant role in the decisions our children make in the area of sexual activity, right? I know; most decisions that people make are made independently. But let's be real. We parents are oftentimes adamant that our children won't display behaviors that cast us in a negative light.

Take this nugget from my own life. My wife and I expect our four-year-old son to sit quietly when our pastor is delivering his sermon. Does he sit quietly? Not always. We find ourselves firmly telling him to "Be quiet!" or "Be still!" His motivation is to be free of the constraints of his seat and the church sanctuary. But there's only one problem. My wife and I attend church on Sunday mornings to receive a word from our God. Consequently, because my son is an extension of us, his parents, his motivation must be in line with our own.

But should my wife and I be held responsible for his engagement in sexual activity when he becomes of age? Yes and no. I say yes because we have been commissioned by God to serve as our child's first teachers. And God wants parents to train their children to not deviate from the path of righteousness.

We want to train our child to be obedient to the Godhead in both word and deed, even though we, his parents, had shortcomings in this area during our teenage and young adult years. For this reason, some people would consider us hypocrites for encouraging our child to remain sexually pure until after he is married. I beg to differ.

My wife and I apologized to God for our disobedience, and he had mercy on us. We had already accepted his son Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, so he just assured us that our sins had been forgiven. In short, he restored us, made us virgins again. But then he did something much greater. He allowed us to experience the power of his transforming grace.

God's intent is for sexual activity to be enjoyed by one man and one woman in a committed, marital relationship. That is a message that I will be communicating consistently to my son when he becomes of age. I will also warn him about the dangers associated with unprotected sex - unplanned pregnancy, STDs, HIV and AIDS. But I will also share my testimony with him, how I fell in love with his mother to start a family of my own.

My hope is that my son will hear the undertones of my shared testimony, recognize the value of saving himself for marriage to a woman. But if he doesn't, I won't beat myself up. I won't even berate him with my words. He must find his own way to the Lord, knowing that we, his parents, will always be there to pour water over the seeds that are being planted in him.

What do you think? Should parents be held responsible for the sexual activity of their children?

I look forward to reading your responses.

And don't forget to join us on Sunday, August 17th at 9:00 p.m. EST for a roundtable discussion about this topic. The guest call-in number is (646) 716-5918.

Listen to archived segments of "FIRM...but fair" with Jeffery A. Faulkerson at www.blogtalkradio.com/firmbutfair.

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