Lessons from Teen Mothers: "Sex is fun until..."

Black Star Project
Teenage mothers are more likely to drop out of school, be financial dependant on family members, be government dependent, and suffer low-wage jobs. Additionally, their children do less well in school and are more likely to live in poverty.

As young women prepare for their junior and senior proms, they should be aware of these lessons based on conversations with several young mothers between the ages of 14 and 18:

Sex is fun until you miss your period, and you start to wonder if you might be pregnant and all that this will mean for your life.
Sex is fun until you have to tell the male or males that you had sex with that he is (or might be) the father of your unborn child.
Sex is fun until you have to change your whole life to accommodate the new life growing within you.
Sex is fun until your family and friends tell you that you have disappointed them and let them down.
Sex is fun until you immediately start to feel the weight of the world come onto you.
Sex is fun until you are at the hospital having your baby without the father because he is either at work, playing basketball, "kickin' it with his boys" or might even be having sex with another girl.
Sex is fun until you take your baby home, to your mother's house, not your own house. And she really can't afford for you to be there.
Sex is fun until you don't have money to buy food, milk or diapers for your baby, and the father won't or can't help you with these expenses, or your mother may already be overburdened by the rest of your family who depend on her for survival.
Sex is fun until you can't go out with your friends because you don't have anyone to watch your baby.
Sex is fun until you can't go to school to improve your life because you don't have anyone to watch your baby.
Sex is fun until you can't find a decent job because of your lack of education and your inability to work consistently because you don't have anyone to watch your baby.
Sex is fun until you will find that boys and men look at you for quick sex, not love or a relationship, because they know you have already had sex without requirements or consequences.
Sex is fun until you will raise your child by yourself. You are the mother, father, breadwinner, disciplinarian, teacher, and everything else to your child, whether you are qualified or not, whether you want to be or not.
Sex is fun until you might become homeless because of your circumstances.
Sex is fun until you find that you have contracted a venereal disease from having unprotected sex. You pray that it is not HIV.
Sex is fun until you feel alone. You are alone. You are overwhelmed by your circumstances and what you have allowed to happen to you. You don't have a support system. And it seems as though you can't take the pressure of managing your life and your baby's life.


Remember when Sex Use to Be Fun?

These lessons for young women are based on conversations with several young

mothers between the ages of 14 and 18.

The Black Star Project

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Website: www.blackstarproject.org

 

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